i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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