there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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