He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
