Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
