Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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