I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if only i could text you this smell
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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