1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
