i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
