They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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