I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
