on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
