The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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