I think i peed on brittanys purse
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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