it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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