can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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