I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
