I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
