Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize