i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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