Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His nipple licking is glorious
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