I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
