just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Send help, water and tortillas.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
