Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
