...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
