Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
