This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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