i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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