i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
