The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
