My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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