i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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