last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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