i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
