Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
