I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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