Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
