I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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