You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
