So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My penis needs a shock collar
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
