He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
