he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
dude. I can hear the air.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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