I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
