Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
