Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
