this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
