Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
