I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
