More tranny stories later!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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