They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
