it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
