There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
