and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
