at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
