The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize