We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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