So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
