remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize