3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
