just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
