I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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