please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
