I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
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